Tendrils of Memories
by pandorabox82
Summary: Scully finds herself with a visitor from her past, and she finds that she has missed him more than she thought.


Dana ran her fingers through her hair as she tried to get control of her emotions once more. Being pregnant, again, another miracle occurrence, had thrown her hormones into a tailspin, and she hadn't quite figured out how to deal with the miasma that swirled in her breast just yet. As a doctor, she had objectively known that things would be rocky for a while, but she had also forgotten what it felt like to be the person living through that. Letting out a deep breath, she awkwardly got to her feet once more, flushing away the evidence of her morning sickness before making her way over to the sinks and washing her hands thoroughly before cleaning up her face, taking care not to destroy her makeup in the process. Finally satisfied that no one would be able to tell that she had been ill, she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and made her way back to her office.

It was odd, being back in the same basement office that she had thought she had left behind so many years ago, but it seemed that her love for Mulder and the work he did always drew her back. Letting out a little sigh, she tried to make herself comfortable in her chair, finding the cushion a little too thin for her liking in that moment, though she did wonder if she was just being a bit too picky, if she needed something to complain about, since Mulder was being so conciliatory towards her currently. Shaking her head at her own foolishness, she tapped in the password for her laptop and began to get to work on the current file that was due on Skinner's desk by the end of the day. Once she was immersed in wrapping up their latest case in Houghton, Dana found that she had little time to worry about how her ass felt, as there was a good portion of case notes missing from what Mulder had given her. Swallowing the burst of irritation that rose in her throat, she rose to her feet and went over to his desk, searching through the papers there until she had found what she needed.

"I have to get on you about this, Mulder," she muttered under her breath as she sank back down into her chair and began to incorporate his notes in her report. She became so engrossed in her work that it wasn't until she heard a very loud cough that she looked up from her monitor to see that she had a visitor. "I haven't seen your face in a while, John," she said, giving him a wide smile as she stood up and came around the desk to hug him warmly. He stiffened a little before returning the embrace, and Dana wondered what had brought him down to the catacombs to see her.

Her face must have shown her confusion as he pulled away from her, since he gave her a sheepish grin as one shoulder rose to touch his ear. "I know that has been a long time since we talked, but, well, I was wondering if we could grab lunch?"

It took her only a moment to decide upon her answer, and with a smile still on her lips, she nodded at him before reaching over and grabbing her phone off the desk, slipping it into her blazer pocket. "I hadn't realized that it had gotten that late, but I will never turn down the opportunity to eat with a friend." John nodded as he held out his elbow, and Dana slipped her hand into the crook, allowing him to lead her over to the elevators. It was a silent ride up to the ground floor, but she found that she didn't mind the quiet, since it allowed her time to process and think about what she was going to talk about with John Doggett. It had been nearly twenty years since they had last seen each other, and she felt a little awkward at having him just reappear. She had reacted the same way to Monica, as well, though that had been well founded, or so it seemed at the time.

"Follow me," he said as they went outside, and she nodded, feeling grateful for the fact that he modified his stride so that she could easily keep up with him without having to jog. There were times when Mulder forgot to be that considerate, and then had been a part of each other's lives for so long that she would have thought that it would be second nature to him now. It wasn't until they were walking into her favourite café that Dana reeled her thoughts in, so that she could be completely present with him as they ate.

She was surprised with how quickly they were seated, given how busy the café was but she was grateful for the fact that their table was in the back of the room, since that allowed her to keep watch over everyone else there. Dana knew that that was a tad bit paranoid, but so many years with Mulder had ingrained a healthy dose of the feeling in her heart. "So, what brings you back here?" she asked as she picked up the menu and began to peruse it.

"I heard through the grapevine that you were experiencing a bit of a miracle in your life. I wanted to come and see if it was true." His eyes flickered down to her torso, and she smiled softly as she nodded a little. "That's amazing, Dana."

She wasn't surprised when he reached across the table to pick up her hand, squeezing it tightly as he looked at her earnestly. "It is a welcome surprise, yes. Though being considered a geriatric pregnancy was a little off putting." He waited until she chuckled to join in her laughter, and she was touched by the fact that he didn't want to laugh at her. "This time, though, we're going to make certain that everything goes well. It helps that Skinner knows about the pregnancy, so he doesn't comment on the fact that I am a lot less active in the field than a normal agent."

"That's good. Skinner always seemed like he cared for you and Mulder, almost like he was a protective big brother."

She nodded a little before drawing her hand back to her lap, giving him a small smile as she finally made up her mind on what she wanted to order. "He does his best to look out for us, yes. Even though we don't make his job very easy."

John went to say something, only for their server to come and take their order. Once that was done, however, he rustled around in the pocket of his suit coat, pulling out a small box. She cocked her head to one side as she watched him look at the box before taking a deep breath and sliding it across the table towards her. "I was in Maine a few weeks ago, on a bit of a vacation, and I saw this in a little shop there. For some reason, it really reminded me of you, and so I purchased it before I could second guess myself."

She looked at his face, noticing that he wasn't making direct eye contact any longer, as if he was afraid of what he'd reveal by looking at her. Knowing that if she was silent for much longer, things would become more awkward between them, so she took hold of the box and pulled the lid off it. Nestled on a bed of cotton was an antique pin, the painting of a mother holding her baby. The woman's hair was red, like hers, and she could see why it would have reminded him of her. "This is lovely, John. Thank you."

A blush stained his cheeks for a few moments as he cleared his throat and picked up his glass of water to take a few sips before looking at her once more. "I would have missed it, but for some reason, I did a double take, and sometimes things just work out the right way. I don't know why you came to mind, but maybe that's just God's way of putting thing together the right way."

"I'd like to think so," she replied as she picked up the pin and brought it closer to her face so that she could examine the picture closer. "I hope that I'm a better mother this time around."

A part of her regretted those words as soon as they slipped past her lips, and it was her turn to look at the table, not wanting to see the way he was probably looking at her, the pity that was more than likely clouding his eyes. Drawing in a few deep breaths through her nose, she tried to fight off the tears that were rapidly trying to fill her eyes, knowing that it was a hormonal reaction, but still not wanting to appear weak in front of him. She had already shown him that side of herself on more than one occasion when they were partners, and it did not warrant a repeat.

Still, she was grateful for the way that John reached across the table to rest his hand on her arm, and she looked to see that he held a handkerchief between his fingers. Letting out a watery laugh, she plucked it from his grip and dabbed at her eyes. "I remember when my wife was pregnant with our son, she used to cry at the drop of a hat, too. There were so many hormones coursing through her system that she couldn't keep control of everything all the time."

"Yes," she agreed and then set the handkerchief down as their food arrived. "I didn't realize that it would be harder this time around, honestly. I've been through the process once already, and that should have been the most difficult time, since we were on the run from so many people who wished us ill."

He nodded a little as he dug into his meal, and she followed suit, finding the food adequate, but knowing that her current state of emotional turmoil was influencing how it tasted. Still, there was something almost comforting about his presence, something that she had never found in Mulder's presence. She knew that she was doing a small disservice to her partner, but there was a truth to her thoughts that she hadn't realized until this moment. Mulder would say that this was the fact that their auras were completely different, so she had a different reaction to him than Mulder. Though as he would also say, John had been there to help her pick up the pieces as everything went to hell around her. "I truly wish you and Mulder nothing but the best, Dana."

Dana quickly glanced up at him, seeing the warmth in his face as he looked at her fondly. There was a depth to his expression that she couldn't quite place, but it felt nice to be the recipient of said look. "I know that you do. I wish that we saw more of you."

"I'm kept quite busy working with Katie Cole's team these days, and she's based out of Quantico, so there isn't much call for me to be out here these days. I just know that I had to give you that pin before I chickened out of it." She nodded and held out her hand towards him, smiling when he clasped it softly.

"I don't think that I could ever work with her, and it's not because of her reputation. I don't do well with cases that involve children, and to know that the only reason I'm looking for a particular child is because someone knowingly took them and placed them in danger? I would be a basket case after the first hour. How do you do it, John?"

He swallowed thickly before squeezing her hand and taking a deep breath. "I always keep my son's memory close at hand. I would never wish that pain on anyone, and if I can take some of that pain away by doing what I do, then it makes the soul sucking nature of the work worth it." Dana nodded, wondering if her eyes were as wet as his were as she slowly pulled her hand back to her side of the table and picked up her coffee, taking a long sip as she thought of what to say next. "I know, my job is a conversation killer."

"No, it shouldn't be. I just…I guess that it's a little too close to home at the moment. I'm just glad that there are people out there who are willing to look so deeply into the abyss to take care of our children." She rested her chin in her hand as she let out a deep breath. "And have you managed to find anyone?"

John quickly shook his head as he picked up his coffee and took a short drink. "There hasn't been anyone since Monica. My heart was never quite able to move on from her." There was just a brief hesitation to John's words, which told Dana that he wasn't being quite truthful, but she also didn't want to probe too deeply, knowing that his reasons were his own as to why he wasn't explaining everything. "So, how far along are you?"

"About four months now. We are safely in the space where I can announce the pregnancy to trusted friends. I know there are rumors flying about it, nothing stays a secret for very long in the business that we do, which is probably how you found out about it." She ignored the flush that stained his cheeks as he took a bite of his sandwich. "I don't mind, I'm just glad that you were thoughtful enough to think of us."

"We were partners once, Dana, and you still hold a place in my heart," he replied gruffly before clearing his throat and looking down at his hands. "I'm really glad that you agreed to come out with me today. It has been so nice to catch up with an old, dear, friend." For some reason, Dana thought that he was saying those words as a way to remind himself that that is exactly what she was to him, and she said nothing, knowing that it would likely embarrass him if she did that.

"I always enjoy spending time with my friends. And I'll make certain that you are invited to her christening. It will be good to have a friend of mine there." His head shot back up, and Dana felt her heart crack a little at the gorgeous smile that was on his lips at the mention of being included in her life even a little more, and she knew that she would never regret making the invitation to him.


End file.
